Month 5 of the COVID-Marathon: Yes, we can!
We are now around 5 months of shelter-in-place (at least in the Bay Area).
We are not even beginning to return to the “normal” that some people were hoping for. We are cracking open something new within our global community, as well as at home, and we have yet to see what it will be. No one, regardless of what they might claim, is untouched by our current circumstances. COVID-19 has thrown a wrench into our daily routines, our economies, our jobs, our school systems, our family configurations, our parenting, our mental health, our social interactions, and —in our country— it has highlighted issues of social disparities, systemic racism, and the tragic failings of our healthcare system. As if this isn’t hard enough, rather than hear uplifting, comforting words, our president alternates between ignoring and weaponizing a public health crisis for his advantage — and everybody else’s detriment.
We are all in a state of collective grief, although at different stages. For more on the stages of grief, please read this article.
Many of us are experiencing high levels of stress due to uncertainty about so many life factors and concerns about basic safety and survival. Living in such a heightened state is not sustainable; it requires an intentional compassionate response to help soothe our nervous systems, so that stress doesn’t accumulate, worsen or result in medical issues.
Of course, there are many other mental health concerns, including a rise in depression and anxiety in the general public, and even higher levels of anxiety for parents (including expecting and new moms). This significant rise in parental stress will inevitably impact children’s mental health as well. Our frontline workers are at high risk for burnout and secondary trauma. Suicides and drug overdoses have surged. Older adults, and others living alone, are at risk of feeling isolated and depressed due to lack of social contact. And during times of crisis, there are often increased cases of child abuse, neglect, and intimate partner violence.
I say all of this not to add to anybody’s woes, but to hold compassion for what are universal tragedies—even if the experiences differ from household to household. It is not an easy time.
Building up our resilience and prepping for this marathon is our best option right now. How we appraise the situation (e.g. “We can do this” versus “There is no hope”) and find meaning despite it all can make a big difference.
The good news? There are some things that we can all do to help ourselves get through this.
Practice compassion — for yourself and others. This is the time to lower expectations, to be forgiving, and give yourself (and others) space to rest and heal. Especially those who are essential and frontline workers. For more on compassion, go here.
Seek refuge in nature or get some fresh air outside. (Of course, be safe and wear a mask). Even therapists are meeting with clients and taking socially-distant therapy walks. There is evidence that supports forest bathing, which is prescribed in Japan as preventative medicine for its physiological and psychological benefits. This is free to anybody, anytime, and anywhere—whether an urban garden or park or a national park.
Yes, mindfulness is a buzzword, but there is no time like the present. Our lives and minds can feel like they are going a thousand miles a minute, so slowing down and checking in with our inner selves is essential. How can we know where we are going next or what we should do if we have no idea about how we are feeling? Feeling anchored at this time helps to encounter the uncertainty. There are so many ways to be mindful: meditation, yoga, Tai Chi, Qi Gong, mindful walking, mindful eating, deep breathing to calm our nervous systems, playing with a pet, smelling scents. For more ideas, check out this article.
Establish a daily/ weekly self-care routine…and stick to it! Early on in the pandemic, I read that Marie Kondo starts out each morning by burning incense or walking in her garden. What is your version of this? Some other ideas: stretching, exercising, drinking a cup of tea, reading, walking, journaling, listening to music?
Interface with art and creativity. It would be remiss of me not to mention this as an art therapist! Try this challenge: put out some art materials and—without any agenda—start painting or drawing or sculpting or glueing. No thinking, just doing! See how you feel afterwards. Other options include: dancing, playing an instrument, knitting, sewing, mosaic-making, writing, photography, etc.
Connect to others, but find your sweet spot. This will likely change from day to day and week to week. The idea is to recharge not to fizzle out from video fatigue. If you are feel the need to speak with someone immediately, but you’re not sure whom to contact, call your local crisis line or SAMHSA’s national hotline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
No, this is not an easy time. However, there are small things we can do to make a difference both in our lives and in others’ lives. When we show kindness, others take notice, and we feel better. And kindness ripples. By taking care of ourselves, we take care of each other…and we can help one another get through this.